After Saturday's Atlanta Poly-Southside Meet up, I couldn't help but think how the world would be viewed through the eyes of a child with polyamorous parents. Let's see...we could probably begin with multiple people who often model loving relationships and interactions...whether its Male-Female-Male...Female-Male-Female...the configuration really doesn't matter, dear reader. What would matter is the amount of quality time and love that a child of poly-parents would receive.
In listening to the triad from our Atlanta Polyamory Inc.'s Southside meet-up...who called themselves PBMJ...their children were the center of their lives who simply had to feel the sheer power of three. Think about this, dear reader...with three or more parents, it stands to reason that one of the parents will always be available to meet the needs of a child. At school functions, when most people have a couple of people showing up for events, a child with poly-parents could have all of their parent show up...with cell phone cameras in hand...to document it from multiple perspectives. With multiple parents in a household, you have various strengths that support the weaknesses of the others...so it would be easy to go to Mom for Math, Dad for creative writing and still another Dad for fun adventures...away from books and traditional learning. Also, chances are that when one parent is exhausted, the other two are ready, willing and able to pick up the slack. With the positives behind having a poly-family...many of which are still unknown to me...it seems that more people would begin to support polyamorous unions and families. Only time will tell, dear reader....
(Note...Now, I am not saying that poly-parents do not have issues...as PBMJ pointed out...but it stands to reason that while they have more to gain by being together...they also have more to lose by not finding ways to solve common problems...BECAUSE their children are involved...just like with monogamous parents.)
Among my hopes for the future...I pray that our poliwogs will thrive...and from their interactions in our society, they will become the voices of the movement or at the very least convey their experiences as a polyamory-insider. In actuality, the children of polyamorous adults could become the living, breathing and positive proof that such unions can benefit society, as a whole...as the images of the American family continue to change, dear reader...
Polyamorously Yours,
Cindy
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
The Heart of It All
Remember the old game show, Name That Tune, with Kathy Lee Johnson (later Kathy Lee Gifford)? "I can name that tune in one note!", many contestants would boast...well, dear reader, I can describe Saturday's polyamory meeting with one word...INFORMATIVE!
Donned in jeans and a t-shirt from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., I ventured to the Atlanta Bread Company in Fayetteville. Trying to arrive a little late...so as to not look too anxious...I arrived on time (darn it) ...only to find that the other attendees were already there. Once again, upon entering the restaurant, I really had no clue as to how to ask for the "polyamory group"...so when my eyes connected with the first table of folks...I simply inquired outright...and guess what...Time didn't stand still and others in the restaurant could not have cared less. Immediately, I was greated by two males and three females...complete with adorable children...after all, dear reader, Atlanta Polyamory Inc. does offer family-friendly meet-ups.
As our small group enjoyed the wonderfully tasty fare, our conversation turned to the academic achievements of the youngest, interested group member...who was about eight years old [the other two children moved away from the group, so that they could have their own kids' space :) ] Turns out, our littlest table mate was a rather high-achieving elementary student with a vocabulary and knowledge set that impressed even this educator. As both males took part in sharing about the child's education, I quickly inquired about the dynamics of this group. It turned out that I was talking to the co-founders of Atlanta Polyamory Meetup who were in a Male-Female-Male trio and raising children together. What a wonderful surprise!
Between bites of salads and sandwiches...slurps of soup...and sips of beverages, I was able to watch video snippets from the past 2012 PRIDE Parade ....filled with unexpected insight into the back story of Atlanta Polyamory's participation in this event. Lucky for me, our conversations ran the gamut...from the Atlanta Poly-conference in March 2013 to the need for advocacy in our poly-community. We discussed partnership laws to health care insurance for poly-unions as thriving financial units to court cases (past and current) that are affecting the ever-changing national landscape. Now, this type of dialogue is what I have been craving, since my first meet up. The dissemination of correct and appropriate information should be at the heart of the local, state and national polyamory movement. It is through the sharing of information and actions by concerned members that the positive attributes about polyamorous relationships can be shared with others.
While it would have been really nice to have a few more people in attendance to support our Southside meet-up group, it was wonderful to be the only polynewbie in a group filled with so many knowledgeable people. But rest assured, dear reader, that once word gets out that this is THE premiere meet-up event for poly-awareness, I expect our little southside group to grow by leaps and bounds, each month.
Polyamorously Yours,
Cindy
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Donned in jeans and a t-shirt from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., I ventured to the Atlanta Bread Company in Fayetteville. Trying to arrive a little late...so as to not look too anxious...I arrived on time (darn it) ...only to find that the other attendees were already there. Once again, upon entering the restaurant, I really had no clue as to how to ask for the "polyamory group"...so when my eyes connected with the first table of folks...I simply inquired outright...and guess what...Time didn't stand still and others in the restaurant could not have cared less. Immediately, I was greated by two males and three females...complete with adorable children...after all, dear reader, Atlanta Polyamory Inc. does offer family-friendly meet-ups.
As our small group enjoyed the wonderfully tasty fare, our conversation turned to the academic achievements of the youngest, interested group member...who was about eight years old [the other two children moved away from the group, so that they could have their own kids' space :) ] Turns out, our littlest table mate was a rather high-achieving elementary student with a vocabulary and knowledge set that impressed even this educator. As both males took part in sharing about the child's education, I quickly inquired about the dynamics of this group. It turned out that I was talking to the co-founders of Atlanta Polyamory Meetup who were in a Male-Female-Male trio and raising children together. What a wonderful surprise!
Between bites of salads and sandwiches...slurps of soup...and sips of beverages, I was able to watch video snippets from the past 2012 PRIDE Parade ....filled with unexpected insight into the back story of Atlanta Polyamory's participation in this event. Lucky for me, our conversations ran the gamut...from the Atlanta Poly-conference in March 2013 to the need for advocacy in our poly-community. We discussed partnership laws to health care insurance for poly-unions as thriving financial units to court cases (past and current) that are affecting the ever-changing national landscape. Now, this type of dialogue is what I have been craving, since my first meet up. The dissemination of correct and appropriate information should be at the heart of the local, state and national polyamory movement. It is through the sharing of information and actions by concerned members that the positive attributes about polyamorous relationships can be shared with others.
While it would have been really nice to have a few more people in attendance to support our Southside meet-up group, it was wonderful to be the only polynewbie in a group filled with so many knowledgeable people. But rest assured, dear reader, that once word gets out that this is THE premiere meet-up event for poly-awareness, I expect our little southside group to grow by leaps and bounds, each month.
Polyamorously Yours,
Cindy
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Gathering...Poly-style
About a month ago, I attended my first poly-meet up at a Greek bar north of Atlanta. It took about an hour of blind-driving (i.e. directions from Map Quest...yeah...no smart phone here...) to find Nick's Bar and Grill. It was an odd little spot that seemed a little backwards. As soon as I walked in the restaurant...BOOM...a meeting room filled with couples and singles...all sitting around a family-styled table. It looked more like a family reunion than a poly-meet up. I found myself stumbling over my words...trying to find the right ones to ask for a group of people getting together to talk about intimate relations with multiple partners...but I managed to get it out. Boy was I happy that I hadn't just crashed someone's private celebration, dear reader!
I was quickly introduced to everyone in the room and attached many names with online handles. Everyone was cordial, but I could tell that they were familiar with each other from past meetings and I really felt like the true poly-newbie. There was a fellow Southsider in the room who described himself as shy...ummmm...that was actually an understatement (smile if your are reading this "G"). Noticing that he really was much more bashful than he admitted to being online, I moved and sat next to him. After engaging him in conversation and listening in on other table chats, I realized that this group appeared to be a tough one to crack. The talk ranged from discussions about careers to a recent law graduate's thoughts about certain Supreme Court justices and their decisions...to only God knows what down on the other end of the table. By this time, I was a little confused...yeah, I know that there is more to talk about in polyamory than how to get hooked up, but there was little to no conversations...at all...about the elephant in the room...POLYAMORY!
So, I started wondering...just how would you get that topic of conversation introduced? No sooner had that thought flashed across my mind when fresh faces arrived...whew...saved by the poly-cavalry. Among them was a rather friendly trio who sat down near my end of the table...to my delight...and just so happen they were African-American...like me...and new to this group...just like me. For a few more minutes, I continued to listen to the thoughts of the law graduate...and longing for the conversation to quickly change to something WAY more interesting...when I heard the newbies ask lifestyle questions...real questions about polyamory...so I moved, again...closer to the action.
Soon, this trio...female/male/female...was sharing the intimate details of their relationships. I learned that they were a love triad...who stumbled upon polyamory and were still looking for answers to their many questions. Like me, they had experienced swinging, but were more interested in establishing lasting relationships...friendships. NOW, things were getting interesting. They shared that their adventure started out as a wife-swap that went awry. Awry in the sense that one set of swappers got along extremely well (and still are intimate partners), while the other set didn't hit it off at all...which left the male in this trio looking for another significant other. The second female in the group was the recent addition (to both the lifestyle and to the area) and the love interest of the male...whew! Now the second female, which I will simply call CeeCee, was a pretty interesting character who I found out was interested in finding an ANR (adult nursing relationship) or erotic lactation partner. Now, ANR was a totally new concept for me people and would probably be considered more a sub-sexual culture of erotica than polyamory...but it stands to reason that through poly-relationships, she would be exposed (pun intended) to more willing partners...I'm just sayin'... :)
This little group...at my end of the table...seemed to be in full swing to my delight! We were joined at various times by others...who would briefly share their poly-stories...then move on to another group. This discussion style continued for the remainder of the night. As conversations came and went, I learned about many interesting things and events (which I shall share with you in future posts, dear reader).
What seemed like more of a miss than a hit...in the beginning...really turned into a rather informative, discussion session that had me longing for my next poly meet-up...which will be this Saturday on the Southside of Atlanta...so stay tuned, for (hopefully) many more stimulating discoveries... dear reader...
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
I was quickly introduced to everyone in the room and attached many names with online handles. Everyone was cordial, but I could tell that they were familiar with each other from past meetings and I really felt like the true poly-newbie. There was a fellow Southsider in the room who described himself as shy...ummmm...that was actually an understatement (smile if your are reading this "G"). Noticing that he really was much more bashful than he admitted to being online, I moved and sat next to him. After engaging him in conversation and listening in on other table chats, I realized that this group appeared to be a tough one to crack. The talk ranged from discussions about careers to a recent law graduate's thoughts about certain Supreme Court justices and their decisions...to only God knows what down on the other end of the table. By this time, I was a little confused...yeah, I know that there is more to talk about in polyamory than how to get hooked up, but there was little to no conversations...at all...about the elephant in the room...POLYAMORY!
So, I started wondering...just how would you get that topic of conversation introduced? No sooner had that thought flashed across my mind when fresh faces arrived...whew...saved by the poly-cavalry. Among them was a rather friendly trio who sat down near my end of the table...to my delight...and just so happen they were African-American...like me...and new to this group...just like me. For a few more minutes, I continued to listen to the thoughts of the law graduate...and longing for the conversation to quickly change to something WAY more interesting...when I heard the newbies ask lifestyle questions...real questions about polyamory...so I moved, again...closer to the action.
Soon, this trio...female/male/female...was sharing the intimate details of their relationships. I learned that they were a love triad...who stumbled upon polyamory and were still looking for answers to their many questions. Like me, they had experienced swinging, but were more interested in establishing lasting relationships...friendships. NOW, things were getting interesting. They shared that their adventure started out as a wife-swap that went awry. Awry in the sense that one set of swappers got along extremely well (and still are intimate partners), while the other set didn't hit it off at all...which left the male in this trio looking for another significant other. The second female in the group was the recent addition (to both the lifestyle and to the area) and the love interest of the male...whew! Now the second female, which I will simply call CeeCee, was a pretty interesting character who I found out was interested in finding an ANR (adult nursing relationship) or erotic lactation partner. Now, ANR was a totally new concept for me people and would probably be considered more a sub-sexual culture of erotica than polyamory...but it stands to reason that through poly-relationships, she would be exposed (pun intended) to more willing partners...I'm just sayin'... :)
This little group...at my end of the table...seemed to be in full swing to my delight! We were joined at various times by others...who would briefly share their poly-stories...then move on to another group. This discussion style continued for the remainder of the night. As conversations came and went, I learned about many interesting things and events (which I shall share with you in future posts, dear reader).
What seemed like more of a miss than a hit...in the beginning...really turned into a rather informative, discussion session that had me longing for my next poly meet-up...which will be this Saturday on the Southside of Atlanta...so stay tuned, for (hopefully) many more stimulating discoveries... dear reader...
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Lover...Stay True to Thyself
Since I was eighteen, I have pretty much known that marriage was not my calling. However, despite my inner voice, I got married anyway...call it pressure from society...or from family...I simply called it crazy. Some people are natural parents, husbands, and wives...and some of us are destined to pray from them and support them the best way that we can...with love.
In the four decades of my life, I have loved...lost loves and left loves...but one thing remained steadfast...I have always known my place in those relationships. I have had numerous wonderful extra-marital relationships that worked out well from me and for him. I even think that BECAUSE of those relationships, the marriages were able to survive and perhaps even thrive. Divorce was never discussed or desired...mutual satisfaction was all that was given and expected.
It seemed that I was blessed to be the ever-elusive secondary partner...While there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being married or with being a primary partner...it's just NOT FOR ME. Even in the primary relationship that I have maintained for almost 12 years...distance in the form of a two and half hour drive keeps our relationship fresh and alive. If...oops...when that changes and my primary partner moves closer...then we will have to re-establish the ground rules, so that we can keep our mutual love and our wonderful relationship in tact.
On the other hand, in my secondary relationships, I am keenly aware of my role. As a secondary lover, my ideal goal is to please and be pleased...to love and be love...to support and be supported...nothing more and definitely nothing less...
So, dear reader, if I had to give words of advice to new polyamorous friends who are trying to identify their places within relationships, I would stress that they know the type of relationships in which they are embarking.... that they are aware of their true needs and desires...and make sure that their desires (and those of their partners) were always satisfied.
Rest assured by following these simple suggestions, dear reader, we can all have satisfying and loving experiences, as we stay true to ourselves.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
In the four decades of my life, I have loved...lost loves and left loves...but one thing remained steadfast...I have always known my place in those relationships. I have had numerous wonderful extra-marital relationships that worked out well from me and for him. I even think that BECAUSE of those relationships, the marriages were able to survive and perhaps even thrive. Divorce was never discussed or desired...mutual satisfaction was all that was given and expected.
It seemed that I was blessed to be the ever-elusive secondary partner...While there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being married or with being a primary partner...it's just NOT FOR ME. Even in the primary relationship that I have maintained for almost 12 years...distance in the form of a two and half hour drive keeps our relationship fresh and alive. If...oops...when that changes and my primary partner moves closer...then we will have to re-establish the ground rules, so that we can keep our mutual love and our wonderful relationship in tact.
On the other hand, in my secondary relationships, I am keenly aware of my role. As a secondary lover, my ideal goal is to please and be pleased...to love and be love...to support and be supported...nothing more and definitely nothing less...
So, dear reader, if I had to give words of advice to new polyamorous friends who are trying to identify their places within relationships, I would stress that they know the type of relationships in which they are embarking.... that they are aware of their true needs and desires...and make sure that their desires (and those of their partners) were always satisfied.
Rest assured by following these simple suggestions, dear reader, we can all have satisfying and loving experiences, as we stay true to ourselves.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Sunday, October 21, 2012
...Basic Addition...
This weekend, I have given some thought to my newly expanded ability to add many loves to my wonderful life...well, dear reader...polyamory DOES mean "many loves", after all... J. Over breakfast, my PL (Primary Love)...who is the epitome of understanding and committed love... and I had this rather stimulating conversation about love and loving. I explained to him that this feeling of freedom...of uninhibited love...is new to me...I easily equated it to that of a child who has ventured in FAO Swartz New York for the first time...immersed in toys from the ceiling to the floor...lavished with fanciful things that put a child's wildest dreams to shame...pampered with concierge-level service that is only rivaled by that of Harrod's of London...a child who wants to play with everything in sight...that is the sensation that I get as I experience the ability to have numerous loves...simultaneously. What wonderful…mind-blowing...intoxicating...stimulating and downright hedonistic thoughts run through my mind!
As we inhaled the aromatic fragrance of my hot chocolate (with delicious whipped cream...ummmm) we discussed a new encounter...in a guitar shop...with a potentially new friend. I expressed how easy the conversation felt...how first names were exchanged...but nothing more. I shared with my PL that I get a little confused between innocent conversations and those that could lead to more meaningful loving relationships …especially now...since my emotional radar appeared to heightened. He shared that just like with a mono-relationship...it may take time to reveal any significant sign of interest and that patience and continued conversations will reveal more to me. While I really do know that I cannot possibly have or want every tempting soul that attracts me, I am definitely interested in meeting soulful people who are in tune with my needs, as well as getting their needs and desires satisfied.
As I reflected on his thoughts,my PL and my Significant Loves (SL)... who have recently entered my life came to mind...also, I thought about my career...my new interest in learning to play the guitar...my goal to stay healthy...my desire to be a serious writer...and my need for time alone. At this time in my life, I am not really sure that I would have time to add another Significant Love to my already busy life. It is really important that I give quality time to those that I love, dear reader...so while I think that I may want to add a new love...at this time, 3 Loves really do seem to be enough love for me. I will just have to rest comfortably by adding Other Loves (OLs)...friendly, non-intimate loves to my life...for now... dear reader.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Understanding and Sharing Love
As I sit here only minutes from slumber, I find myself thinking about the emotions behind the poly-loves in my life ...and I make a connection with the thoughts that...
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
Yep... I know that it's a paraphrased quote from the Bible and that many interpret the Bible to say that the love described above is reserved for one man and one woman...however, those sentiments go beyond religion...to the very core of love...to eros (intimate love), storge (familial love), philia (love of friends) and finally agape (selfless love) as defined by the Ancient Greeks...Those are the loves that I am discovering in my polyamorous relationships. Eros allows for the passionate love to be released, storge creates family connections that may go beyond that predetermined by biology, philia encompasses the closeness shared by friends, while agape ensures that love goes beyond the self to all living things.
Personally, I strive to love and to share without complaint...realizing that time apart counts for nothing if the hearts, minds and souls are connected...rejoicing in the fact that poly-loves can genuinely care for and love many others...
These are the beautiful thoughts that I will carry into my dreams this night, dear reader....
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
Yep... I know that it's a paraphrased quote from the Bible and that many interpret the Bible to say that the love described above is reserved for one man and one woman...however, those sentiments go beyond religion...to the very core of love...to eros (intimate love), storge (familial love), philia (love of friends) and finally agape (selfless love) as defined by the Ancient Greeks...Those are the loves that I am discovering in my polyamorous relationships. Eros allows for the passionate love to be released, storge creates family connections that may go beyond that predetermined by biology, philia encompasses the closeness shared by friends, while agape ensures that love goes beyond the self to all living things.
Personally, I strive to love and to share without complaint...realizing that time apart counts for nothing if the hearts, minds and souls are connected...rejoicing in the fact that poly-loves can genuinely care for and love many others...
These are the beautiful thoughts that I will carry into my dreams this night, dear reader....
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Ready for PRIDE?
In the span of one short month, I have transitioned from a monogamous woman to a polyamorous one...which is a HUGE deal for me. I have come "out" through this blog and with new friends in the polyamory community. So why is it still difficult for me to wrap my brain around walking behind our poly float through the streets of Downtown Atlanta...while passing out informational leftlets about the beauty of polyamory? I'm really not sure. I am definitely not hiding or ashamed or any of the other negative words that equate to denial. Quite the opposite is true. I have told my primary love (PL) and those in my family who warrant this knowledge, in addition to my best friend. When I am in public with my significant love (SL), I feel as comfortable as a bird soaring through the air...from my actions, I would say that I am perfectly comfortable being polyamorous. [Sidebar: Ironically, I just MAY be more comfortable in my poly relationship than I am in my interracial ones (from a negative historical standpoint)...ohhh, that sounds like a wonderful blog topic...LOL]
So then, why don't I have my Black behind...strutting for all that it's worth in the 2012 PRIDE Parade? Well, it's sorta complicated. I have grown accustomed to eating, shelter and a moderately satisfying paycheck. My fear lies in being "outted" on a professional level. My traditional job frowns upon such things and I think that a front and center shot of me on Channel 2 Action News at 5 p.m. will do little for my career. It's not that I am aspiring to move up in the ranks...quite the contrary...I am actually looking to get OUT within the next few years. However, the "out" that I am looking for must happen in my own way and time and not that set by a board of professional standards.
In 365 days, I am not so sure that I will feel the same way...a lot can happen in a year, dear reader. Who knows, I may decide to throw caution to the wind and write a tell all book about my experiences as a female "swinger", among other things. At this time, however, I am very much a bi-sexual being transitioning into a polyamorous lifestyle...
...so for now, I will rest easy sharing with and writing for you...my dedicated reader...and sharing my poly-life through this blog! Stay well...
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pssst...Today, there are at least three women who are celebrating the birthday of my very SEXY significant love...who manages to take my breath-away with his devilish smile, his unconditional love, and his generous affection...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Baby!
So then, why don't I have my Black behind...strutting for all that it's worth in the 2012 PRIDE Parade? Well, it's sorta complicated. I have grown accustomed to eating, shelter and a moderately satisfying paycheck. My fear lies in being "outted" on a professional level. My traditional job frowns upon such things and I think that a front and center shot of me on Channel 2 Action News at 5 p.m. will do little for my career. It's not that I am aspiring to move up in the ranks...quite the contrary...I am actually looking to get OUT within the next few years. However, the "out" that I am looking for must happen in my own way and time and not that set by a board of professional standards.
In 365 days, I am not so sure that I will feel the same way...a lot can happen in a year, dear reader. Who knows, I may decide to throw caution to the wind and write a tell all book about my experiences as a female "swinger", among other things. At this time, however, I am very much a bi-sexual being transitioning into a polyamorous lifestyle...
...so for now, I will rest easy sharing with and writing for you...my dedicated reader...and sharing my poly-life through this blog! Stay well...
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pssst...Today, there are at least three women who are celebrating the birthday of my very SEXY significant love...who manages to take my breath-away with his devilish smile, his unconditional love, and his generous affection...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Baby!
A Garden Memory
Our Beautiful Terraced-Garden Memory
I spent Saturday in a botanical garden in North Georgia. Unfortunately, my female SL had to work, so my male SL escorted me on a garden-sponsored walk to look for salamanders in a wooded stream bed. There was a little nip in the air, but the sun was shining and the company was fabulous.
Is it really possible to have intimate moments in public and not get arrested? DEFINITELY! Tender touches...longing glances with stimulating conversations...soft-spoken words in a very attentive ear are all ways to say "I love you...I love who you are...and I love that you are in my life". It's the little things that make intimate moments special.
As we walked the beautifully manicured grounds, we were indeed making memories that only the two of us shared...but his love for me...at that time...did not take away from the love that he shared with his primary partner or with his second wife. My love for him did not take away from the bond and love that I have with my PL.That's the beauty of polyamory. Love can take all shapes and forms depending on the souls involved.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
...of Anchors and Wings
(NOTE: This was my original post on this site, which was DELETED...below is my vain attempt to recreate its essence.)
None of us knows where love will take us...and I certainly didn't think that I would travel 1 1/2 hours from my home to find it...That's right 3 hours round trip people...just to meet the couple of my choice. Our intimate meeting was by mutual selection and I am blessed to have met such caring people.
Now they were not Batman and Robin, by any stretch of my creative imagination...no super-hero worshipping here...however, they were a dynamic duo. To be able to share their love, unconditionally...tenderly with me was a gift that this couple clearly possessed...and shared that night.
My experience with them was as natural as breathing. Our hands, lips and bodies connected...over and over again until we were ALL satisfied. We took turns pleasing each other, then ended up in a circle of sorts...talking, caressing and kissing our way in and out of conversations...
On my way home, it was only natural that I began to compare my poly-experience to that with my mono-partner. It was then that I realized that my primary love was time-tested, true and steadfast. His love kept me grounded and prevented me from getting lost in fanciful ideals. On the other hand, my new relationship, will hopefully give me the boundless and supportive love that will allow me to be free to explore all that is love and loving about me...about them. So it seemed quite fitting to say that my primary love anchors me, while my new loves give me wings! What a wonderfully fulfilling thought I had at that moment and time in my life. When that experience ended, I felt that my couple had freed my soul...that they had set my life in a new direction...one that would guide me to find my true self.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
None of us knows where love will take us...and I certainly didn't think that I would travel 1 1/2 hours from my home to find it...That's right 3 hours round trip people...just to meet the couple of my choice. Our intimate meeting was by mutual selection and I am blessed to have met such caring people.
Now they were not Batman and Robin, by any stretch of my creative imagination...no super-hero worshipping here...however, they were a dynamic duo. To be able to share their love, unconditionally...tenderly with me was a gift that this couple clearly possessed...and shared that night.
My experience with them was as natural as breathing. Our hands, lips and bodies connected...over and over again until we were ALL satisfied. We took turns pleasing each other, then ended up in a circle of sorts...talking, caressing and kissing our way in and out of conversations...
On my way home, it was only natural that I began to compare my poly-experience to that with my mono-partner. It was then that I realized that my primary love was time-tested, true and steadfast. His love kept me grounded and prevented me from getting lost in fanciful ideals. On the other hand, my new relationship, will hopefully give me the boundless and supportive love that will allow me to be free to explore all that is love and loving about me...about them. So it seemed quite fitting to say that my primary love anchors me, while my new loves give me wings! What a wonderfully fulfilling thought I had at that moment and time in my life. When that experience ended, I felt that my couple had freed my soul...that they had set my life in a new direction...one that would guide me to find my true self.
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
All Good Things Come in Pairs
----This post was originally posted on Oct. 7, 2012...on a competitive
website----
XEROmag.com has a wonderful website with many
great articles that introduced me to polyamory. In its 101 article, I found a glossary that gave terms
and definitions…but I did not find any quick, cute terms to distinguish between
my primary partner and others that pertained to love, so I
have decided to create my own! My primary love will become PL,
while my additional significant, intimate loves will be SL’s
…those loves who interest me will be OL’s…for other loves
…because I can love, respect and spend time with others, as we develop
emotional intimacies.
Recently, I met a wonderful couple
(current OL’s) in a nice family-style restaurant. The conversation was easy. I
was attracted to both of them, as they openly displayed their affection for
each other. However, over the last week and 1/2, I have communicated with
(through text messages) only the male half of this committed couple. (I am sure
that the text messages were shared with my female OL because they share
everything.) I know myself well enough to know that because I define deep
conversations and open communication as FOREPLAY, my emotional attachment has
deepened for my male OL. I really do understand that polyamory means “many
loves” and not “many sex partners”, but my mono-mind keeps shouting, “Stop,
that’s so wrong” to my deepening emotions, but my poly-mind says, “Keep going,
it feels so right!” I totally understand and accept the fact that this struggle
is happening and will continue to keep a watch on this interaction… :)
In the Xeromag.com article
entitled “Dating a Couple”, it
shared that an equal emotional or even physical connection to
SL’s and OL’s is unrealistic because we humans simply have preferences that
can’t really be explained…but usually exist in us all. I am definitely
interested in communicating more with my female OL, in hopes of deepening our
connection, as well. We will have time for face-to-face-to-face chat, next week because I am planning a visit to see
them…yea! I am truly excited about seeing them again, as I explore this
uncharted polyamorous territory…rest assured that I will share this post with
my new poly-OL’s .
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Swinging versus Polyamory Part Deux (II)
----This post was originally posted on Oct. 7, 2012...on a competitive
website----
Please know that any information
that I share is limited based on my personal experiences…to date, I have
NOT had a polyamorous relationship…but I am working on that…
In the days since my last
blog, I have revisited my thoughts about the differences between swinging and
polyamory…below are the thoughts that I wanted to share. As I identify more
differences, I will add them to this list and post about them. (PLEASE feel
free to comment and to share YOUR thoughts.)
|
SWINGING
includes…
|
POLYAMORY includes…
|
|
|
* Future blogs will be posted about
my meetings with other polyamorous individuals and couples.
Swinging versus Polyamory...What's the Difference (Part I)
----This post was originally posted on Oct. 4, 2012...on a competitive
website----
What’s the difference between
“swinging” and polyamory…well let me begin at MY beginning…
About 13 years ago, I found myself
deep in the lifestyle of a swinger. My husband (now ex-) and I lived in the
Sunshine State where the weather was hot and the people were even hotter! There
was plenty of bare skin and sunshine to be seen by all…
Since I love to dance, clubs were
the venues for meeting new couples and if you know Florida, there are swingers’
clubs EVERYWHERE…beginning near Interstate 4 that is…
In the swingers’ lifestyle, you MAY
meet a couple for intimate fun once or twice…it was a flexible adventure at
best. Most people, including myself, were into it for the fun and good
times…with little care about relationships outside of primary ones (i.e. husband,
wife, boyfriend, etc.)
Well, as I skip ahead 13 years and
one monogamous relationship later, I found that the swingers’ lifestyle was
alive and well in Atlanta. There were websites that encouraged it and just as
many clubs where you could have on-site fun with other like-minded sexual
beings. In my mind, going back to swinging was not my real choice, but compared
to a solo monogamous relationship that needed a serious jump start, it seemed
to be the only choice…outside of straight cheating.
Searching through ads for swingers
was like searching through a meat-market…everyone wanted to show you what you
were missing out on…which usually included naked females and/or their various
body parts…breasts for days…ironically, not too many male anatomy could be found
…ummmm…interesting observation!?It appeared that all everyone wanted was sex,
sex and more sex…where was I to begin my search for friendship and intimacy? (This is a big difference between swinging and polyamory…sex
only versus intimacy with sex and friendship.)
On one site, there was a calendar
where you could check out ”dates” for the night…a few were only stopping over
in Atlanta for fun, as they passed through town… others wanted to meet on a
regular basis at a local club to have fun in the flesh with a couple (times 30)
of their closest “friends”. Not really turned on by the club scene any longer
(except for dancing)…I decided to read deeper into the written desires of
couples …so I got busy searching for faces, eyes and thoughts that caught my
attention…
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Finding Like-minded Friends
----This post was originally posted on Sept 30, 2012...on a competitive website----
What’s a girl to do, when she’s new
to the community? Find some friends…quickly. A brief “Google” search led me to
the Atlanta Polyamory Meet-up group http://www.meetup.com/Atlanta-Polyamory/. This site
introduced me to other potential polyamory friends around Metro Atlanta. Who
knew that there were others out there…living their lives in peace, love and harmony?
I can tell you that it was a refreshing sight and I am excited about the
different opportunities to meet and ask questions of others interested in Polyamory.
My first contact from this site was
a couple who visits Atlanta just to find other like-minded friends. You
see…polyamory is not only about physical intimacy, it includes emotional
intimacy that can be found in loving and open friendships.
From searching the site, I have
found that meet-ups take place in restaurants and venues around the city on any
given day of the week. In fact, there is a Pride Parade taking place in October
to celebrate open love. Checkout the site and see for yourself!
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta PolyNewbie
Hello World!
----This post was originally posted on Sept 30, 2012...on a competitive website----
What a way to come “out”! For me,
this is an awakening….a new beginning for this Black woman…living in Atlanta,
Ga…venturing out into this scary and judgmental world, as a polyamorous
adult.
Recently, on the eve of my 46th
birthday, I decided to share with my monogamous partner of 12 years that I had
STRONG feelings about seeking another intimate partner/partners. Would he say “Hell NO!” or simply
end
the relationship? Well, your guess was as good as
mine, but I had to let him know my feelings because I was dying inside…with a
part of me hidden away for over 20
years.
Luckily for me, I have the BEST man
in the world! Instead of actin’
a fool and clownin’ (which is slang for losing his
mind), he vowed to support me in what I wanted to do. Now, don’t get me
wrong, we have had SERIOUS conversations about all that this would entail…more
open communication, HIS priority in my life and full disclosure of all plans…but
in the end, WE decided to remain committed to each other, while I explore polyamory.
As I step into the world of Polyamory,
I want to invite others to follow along…who knows you might enjoy what you read
on my journey of self-discovery. Please feel free to read, share and comment
when the feeling hits you…
Polyamorously Yours,
Atlanta Polynewbie
**Thanks to some awesome new
poly-friends, I have this wonderful resource to
share, www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html.**
I learned that Polyamory comes
“from the Greek and Latinfor “many loves” (literally, poly many + amore love).
A polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship that involves more than
two people.”(direct quote from xeromag.com)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)