I know that being "poly and single" sounds like an oxymoronic thought, but it is a fact of life for many of us. When I finally realized that I was polyamorous, I thought that once I began going to meetings and talking with like-minded people, my life would change...that it would...somehow...get BETTER? What I have actually realized was that once the gatherings are over and the events are done, everyone resumes their own lives..until the next planned happening. Well...what transpires in the lives of poly-singles in between those times, dear reader?
For this poly-single...I have intimate partners, but for the majority of my waking days...and nights for that matter...I am officially single! As a single poly-newbie, finding my identity within the community became a major part of my life. I became a little consumed by the new experiences...by the thrill of seeking and finding open love. However...just recently, I STOPPPED. Yes, that's right...dear reader...I simply stopped. I canceled scheduled poly-meetings, stopped blogging and simply took a look at myself.
At this time in my life, I felt the need to reflect on my ever-changing needs because before I embraced polyamory, I had a rather satisfying life. This realization reminded me that polyamory was only a PART of who I am and not ALL of who I am. It was important for me to keep doing what made me happy before I joined this community of open-minded people... to keep living...to keep growing as a loving and unique soul. For me, that means staying connected through text messages or phone calls with intimate partners...and going to poly-meetings, BUT it also means continuing my guitar lessons...because playing is a relaxing outlet for me...or continuing to learn Spanish... because it draws me culturally closer to my students...or finding time to write...especially to you...dear reader...about life's mundane and exciting moments, as a poly-newbie.
So, my final word on being poly and single is that it is NOT an oxymoron! I can be a rather wonderful adventure...IF we (poly-singles) also seek fulfillment in other aspects of our lives, by simply continuing to be ourselves...and embracing situations as they present themselves.We can bring the full glory of ourselves to any poly-union, as we allow those wonderfully fulfilling and intimate poly-relationships to become a positive extension of who we are...dear reader.
Polyamorously Yours,
Cindy
Atlanta Poly-Newbie
For this poly-single...I have intimate partners, but for the majority of my waking days...and nights for that matter...I am officially single! As a single poly-newbie, finding my identity within the community became a major part of my life. I became a little consumed by the new experiences...by the thrill of seeking and finding open love. However...just recently, I STOPPPED. Yes, that's right...dear reader...I simply stopped. I canceled scheduled poly-meetings, stopped blogging and simply took a look at myself.
At this time in my life, I felt the need to reflect on my ever-changing needs because before I embraced polyamory, I had a rather satisfying life. This realization reminded me that polyamory was only a PART of who I am and not ALL of who I am. It was important for me to keep doing what made me happy before I joined this community of open-minded people... to keep living...to keep growing as a loving and unique soul. For me, that means staying connected through text messages or phone calls with intimate partners...and going to poly-meetings, BUT it also means continuing my guitar lessons...because playing is a relaxing outlet for me...or continuing to learn Spanish... because it draws me culturally closer to my students...or finding time to write...especially to you...dear reader...about life's mundane and exciting moments, as a poly-newbie.
So, my final word on being poly and single is that it is NOT an oxymoron! I can be a rather wonderful adventure...IF we (poly-singles) also seek fulfillment in other aspects of our lives, by simply continuing to be ourselves...and embracing situations as they present themselves.We can bring the full glory of ourselves to any poly-union, as we allow those wonderfully fulfilling and intimate poly-relationships to become a positive extension of who we are...dear reader.
Polyamorously Yours,
Cindy
Atlanta Poly-Newbie
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